So let's see... It's 12:23am and I'm writing down whatever comes to mind. I guess I lied when I said my blog is alive again. hahaha. Don't really know what to say here, but I just remembered something that's been recurring in my mind lately.

We always hear of preachers speaking about how God loves a broken and contrite heart(Psalm 51:17)
And how it plays such a big part in revival.

And it's all good. I mean, I understand what it means. Head knowledge wise of course. A heart that is able to feel what God feels, to be broken the way God is broken.

But just one question. WHAT IS A BROKEN AND CONTRITE HEART? seriously.
A preacher can tell me and describe it through a 1000 word essay. But there's a difference in knowing it through what others tell you, and knowing it through experiencing and having it. 
The same way how I can tell you how good something tastes, but you won't know until you've tasted it.
There's always a difference between just knowing and truly realising something.

And I've been asking God. To show me what a broken and contrite heart is. I want to experience that pain He experiences. I want a broken and contrite heart. Though I have no idea how to get there, I'm waiting for Him to show me.

I'M ALIVVEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Hey guys! It's been such a long while since I last touched this blog. There's a major overgrowth of mushrooms around here.  Sure I can come up with excuses saying how busy I was with school and work that I didn't have time to update my blog but in the end of the day we all know that it was simply laziness.  Really.

Anyways, I have a 3 months worth of holidays so I thought it's time I brought this place back to life.  I'm QUITE sure somewhere along that line it will die again but hahaha it's worth a shot.  So..

There you go! I'm back!

Right. Firstly, some updates! There's been so much going on in the past few months that I don't know where to start.  I guess I'll start with uni life. I have never been this busy with assignments and homework. Got hammered repeatedly with assignments, lab reports, and tutorials (seriously I don't even know why they bother giving them different names cause they're all the same to me).  But you know, it's not all that bad.  WE uni students just love to brag about how much work we have to the high school students and make ourselves sound so awesome and stuff hahahaha.  Anyway, I'm just mighty glad that I had great friends(who repeatedly occasionally saved my butt from all sorts of things like reminding me of assignments I never knew existed) to help me through this semester and can't wait to see what the next has in store. Just in case you didn't know, most of my friends are high achievers so when you hang out with these people, some of their 'high-achievingnesss' kinda just rubs off  on you.

Now putting uni aside, God's been teaching me quite a lot of things lately.  I guess something I never really knew about myself was that I was quite an insecure person. Yeah. Hate to admit it, but I guess that's true. Insecure about my worth, insecure about my relationships with others. Including my relationship with God.  Thankfully, He knows the ways to our hearts and how to deal with me.  He's been teaching me that I'm a PRINCE. That I'm worth much more than I know, and as a matter of fact more than anyone knows.  I guess I'll talk about this in another post once I piece together my thoughts. hahahaha. Point is, He is good. Amen?

So it's the holidays. Gotta try to figure out what to do with it. Hopefully it's gonna be exciting and productive.  Firstly, it's time to catch up with long lost friends and hopefully through that touch their lives somehow. hahaha. More to come soon!

Haven't really had the discipline to blog for a really long time. I must say there were many times where I get an idea and have something to express in my heart which I really wanted to put here, but just never held onto them long enough to reach the computer and put it into a blogpost. 

Anyways, hadn't had much time to really piece my thoughts together. Have been asking many questions lately about life and God lately. It was only when I decided to go for a jog on an evening few days ago that I truly started to ponder on all these questions I had and tried answering them.  What would happen if I die now? Where would I go(seriously I don't think I should still be asking this question cause it's so obvious in God's Word)? and saying things in my heart like 'There's gotta me more to life than this. I just know it.'

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going emo full blast or anything. Life is good and God is there for me, deep down I know that.  It's just at the same time, there's this part of me that thinks and knows that there is much much more than to life than what I'm living now. That there's much more in God then what I see now. And I'm just wondering how do I see more of that. How do I live an even more exciting life as a Christian.  But amidst all this messy thoughts, there's always that peace in God at the end of all those questions. No I didn't exactly find an answer to them, but nonetheless I have my peace in God.

The LORD your God in your midst,

      The Mighty One, will save;

      He will rejoice over you with gladness,

      He will quiet you with His love,

      He will rejoice over you with singing.” 

Zephaniah 3:17

haha. Quiet you with His love. Really love this line.

-ALRIGHT FROM HERE ON IT GETS A BIT HARD TO UNDERSTAND, CAUSE WELL, THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS, AND IT'S NOT EXACTLY AN EASY TOPIC-

Ok, now on an almost completely unrelated topic. Just wanna share my thoughts on science and faith. I just remembered a long time ago, I had this conversation with a friend who's not a believer on God. He's a good friend, despite the fact that he's very skeptical about my faith and my God.  I guess you can say he believes more in science and proving things the 'empirical' way.

So anyway, we were talking about the existence of God and miracles. Then he said this. Paraphrase la, can't quote the exact things he said.

' You know, it's not that I am against Christianity or anything, I just don't understand how you Christians dismiss something as a miracle when you can't find a logical explanation to it. It could be a coincidence or something that you just can't prove yet.'

Now, I found that one hard statement to answer. I didn't know what to say. I can't remember what I replied.

Then after that I started thinking. Why am I sure of God. I know I am sure of Him, but WHY? Really hard to find an answer. Yes, because His word says so. But there's gotta be more than just that reason right? Faith is just hard to explain isn't it.

Anyways, until lately I just realised something. You know how this scientists claim that they can prove this and that. How there is an explanation to everything?

Ok, I'm in my engineering degree in year 2 now. And after all that I've been learning, I just realised that all the things that science has claimed to prove, isn't EXACTLY 'EMPIRICALLY' PROVEN, or through calculations.  Why do I say that? On the very simple basis that, before you can actually prove something using a formula or an experiment or anything, you have to make COUNTLESS ASSUMPTIONS. Yes, all those formulae that you have learnt, comes along with a whole list of assumptions. So how can you exactly prove something empirically when you're making an entire list of assumptions?

I am seriously not sure if this is getting through to anyone(if anyone's even reading it). But when you get to this level of physics and maths, you will notice that you will be reminded over and over that there are assumptions you have to make before you can apply a certain theory or calculation. This very famous quote that my lecturer always use is 'If it is not mentioned or given, then it is zero'.<= we're talking about those unknowns in equations(ie. velocity, pressure...etc)

So when you think about it, science isn't all that objective any more is it. That there's no exact answer for a certain question anymore is it. Because if you make one different assumption in trying to prove something, then the answer you get would be totally different.

Ok, so back to that statement my friend made. About how we can say that there is a God and there are miracles just because we can't explain some things in life?  Well... I can't exactly answer that properly yet. but I have another question for you.

So how can we assume that God doesn't exist just because we don't see Him? (the same way my lecturer will tell me to assume that something is equal to zero if it is not mentioned/given/seen) And if you ask me how do I trust in my God who I can't see or feel or prove, then I'd like to ask. How do you know that the assumptions you made before you solved that question are objectively true? You simply believed didn't you.

MAKES SENSE RIGHT?

And no I can't prove all the things I just said is true. But they're just what I think.

It all boils down to this. You can't prove whether God exists or not with theories and formulae and all those things. Because if you could do that, you would be doing that on the sole ASSUMPTION that God is bound by physics and all these laws of the universe.

And of course I'm not saying that my God is a mere belief. Yes it all starts with believing. But I KNOW He's true, yet if you asked me to prove it to you, I gotta say, I don't know how. It starts with a simple belief, but it goes way further than that.

But I know that God is way more than we can ever comprehend, at least while we're here on earth. His word says that He is 'the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them--the LORD, who remains faithful forever.'(Psalm 146:6) The last thing you wanna do is try to prove Him with scientific formulae.

Anyways, I just don't really know how to put all this together. But God is God. There are things we won't understand, there are things we don't see. But that doesn't mean they don't exist. That doesn't change the fact that God loves us and He is more real than anything can ever be. How do I know this? well, I guess that's faith.

Life is good. always.

Ever since last week life has been quite hectic. Even my weekends are action packed.  I have more stuff on my shoulders than before, more responsibilities, more work. I'm always all exhausted at the end of the day, but somehow I'm feeling just as great as ever, if not greater.

Life is just different when you have your eyes set on God.  Instead of thinking how big your problems are, you start thinking how big God is. And as this goes on, you stop thinking of your problems altogether as your mind is completely occupied with the thought of His majesty.

And when we are able to see God in every single thing in this world, life becomes all exciting and meaningful. Of course, I can't see Him in everything yet. In fact I have tonnes of unanswered questions but well, living with God isn't about having all your questions answered isn't it. I'm sure there are things that I will never understand, till I get to meet Him personally in heaven.  But I guess that's okay, cause I don't need to know everything to have an amazing life with God.

I remember that Pastor Yang once said, stop looking at the circumstances cause the circumstances won't change. It's your attitude that's gotta change. Very true isn't it. Shadrach, Mesach and Abed-Nego didn't ask God to bring them out of the fire. They simply believed in Him, and look what God did. He danced with them in the fire. 

Life is good. Cause God is good.

The little joys of driving

Ah so it has been a while since my last post, but I couldn't let today slip by without writing about this small funny thing that happened today.

You know how driving can be a little frustrating sometimes when there's traffic jams and stuff like that. But I've learnt to find the little joys in driving that make up for all of the frustration. One of it is of course being able to just ferry people around who don't have transport. I know how it feels to not have transport to go out and stuff, and I know how thankful I felt when my friends offered to bring me around. And now that I have a car, I actually quite enjoy fetching people around. Of course provided that I have enough money for petrol hahaha =]

BUT ANYWAYS. That is not the point today. I wanna talk about a NEW little joy of driving which I discovered. Lol it's not exactly a very nice thing but hey it made me laugh(so that's good enough isn't it).

OK. So here i was stuck at the traffic light, waiting for my turn to come... looked to the car on my right lane. Guess what i saw!? This guy HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE digging for gold in his nostrils. HAHAHAHA hilarious! He looked like he was in a completely different world of his own. FARNIEEE MAN! Now you would think that's it. Noooo the best part is yet to come. So at that moment, as I was enjoying the spectacle, I looked further to the right(that's the third lane, I was in the first), and guess what I saw THIS TIME? A woman PICKING HER NOSE AND HAVING THE TIME OF HER LIFE TOO. LOLLLLLL. But okay la this woman less terror abit she had a piece of tissue over her finger. LOL HAHAHAHA wow double the entertainment. I of course, had a hard time refraining myself from joining in the fun.

hahahaha I know some of you might find it disgusting, but you know they were just having that short precious time alone that doesn't come by very often, away from the harsh routines of daily life(work and all that). And don't we all do really weird stuff when we're alone. hahahaha. VERY SORRY for intruding, haha but thank you for giving me a good laugh it sure made my time on the road much more interesting.  It was a nice break from the usual trips on the road.


So I guess if there's one lesson to learn from all this, is that if you drive, look to the left and right before you do anything funny. You never know if Evan is on the lane next to you. Ok that was a joke. I guess we can learn that we can always take pleasure in the little things in life. Nights.