Haven't really had the discipline to blog for a really long time. I must say there were many times where I get an idea and have something to express in my heart which I really wanted to put here, but just never held onto them long enough to reach the computer and put it into a blogpost. 

Anyways, hadn't had much time to really piece my thoughts together. Have been asking many questions lately about life and God lately. It was only when I decided to go for a jog on an evening few days ago that I truly started to ponder on all these questions I had and tried answering them.  What would happen if I die now? Where would I go(seriously I don't think I should still be asking this question cause it's so obvious in God's Word)? and saying things in my heart like 'There's gotta me more to life than this. I just know it.'

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going emo full blast or anything. Life is good and God is there for me, deep down I know that.  It's just at the same time, there's this part of me that thinks and knows that there is much much more than to life than what I'm living now. That there's much more in God then what I see now. And I'm just wondering how do I see more of that. How do I live an even more exciting life as a Christian.  But amidst all this messy thoughts, there's always that peace in God at the end of all those questions. No I didn't exactly find an answer to them, but nonetheless I have my peace in God.

The LORD your God in your midst,

      The Mighty One, will save;

      He will rejoice over you with gladness,

      He will quiet you with His love,

      He will rejoice over you with singing.” 

Zephaniah 3:17

haha. Quiet you with His love. Really love this line.

-ALRIGHT FROM HERE ON IT GETS A BIT HARD TO UNDERSTAND, CAUSE WELL, THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS, AND IT'S NOT EXACTLY AN EASY TOPIC-

Ok, now on an almost completely unrelated topic. Just wanna share my thoughts on science and faith. I just remembered a long time ago, I had this conversation with a friend who's not a believer on God. He's a good friend, despite the fact that he's very skeptical about my faith and my God.  I guess you can say he believes more in science and proving things the 'empirical' way.

So anyway, we were talking about the existence of God and miracles. Then he said this. Paraphrase la, can't quote the exact things he said.

' You know, it's not that I am against Christianity or anything, I just don't understand how you Christians dismiss something as a miracle when you can't find a logical explanation to it. It could be a coincidence or something that you just can't prove yet.'

Now, I found that one hard statement to answer. I didn't know what to say. I can't remember what I replied.

Then after that I started thinking. Why am I sure of God. I know I am sure of Him, but WHY? Really hard to find an answer. Yes, because His word says so. But there's gotta be more than just that reason right? Faith is just hard to explain isn't it.

Anyways, until lately I just realised something. You know how this scientists claim that they can prove this and that. How there is an explanation to everything?

Ok, I'm in my engineering degree in year 2 now. And after all that I've been learning, I just realised that all the things that science has claimed to prove, isn't EXACTLY 'EMPIRICALLY' PROVEN, or through calculations.  Why do I say that? On the very simple basis that, before you can actually prove something using a formula or an experiment or anything, you have to make COUNTLESS ASSUMPTIONS. Yes, all those formulae that you have learnt, comes along with a whole list of assumptions. So how can you exactly prove something empirically when you're making an entire list of assumptions?

I am seriously not sure if this is getting through to anyone(if anyone's even reading it). But when you get to this level of physics and maths, you will notice that you will be reminded over and over that there are assumptions you have to make before you can apply a certain theory or calculation. This very famous quote that my lecturer always use is 'If it is not mentioned or given, then it is zero'.<= we're talking about those unknowns in equations(ie. velocity, pressure...etc)

So when you think about it, science isn't all that objective any more is it. That there's no exact answer for a certain question anymore is it. Because if you make one different assumption in trying to prove something, then the answer you get would be totally different.

Ok, so back to that statement my friend made. About how we can say that there is a God and there are miracles just because we can't explain some things in life?  Well... I can't exactly answer that properly yet. but I have another question for you.

So how can we assume that God doesn't exist just because we don't see Him? (the same way my lecturer will tell me to assume that something is equal to zero if it is not mentioned/given/seen) And if you ask me how do I trust in my God who I can't see or feel or prove, then I'd like to ask. How do you know that the assumptions you made before you solved that question are objectively true? You simply believed didn't you.

MAKES SENSE RIGHT?

And no I can't prove all the things I just said is true. But they're just what I think.

It all boils down to this. You can't prove whether God exists or not with theories and formulae and all those things. Because if you could do that, you would be doing that on the sole ASSUMPTION that God is bound by physics and all these laws of the universe.

And of course I'm not saying that my God is a mere belief. Yes it all starts with believing. But I KNOW He's true, yet if you asked me to prove it to you, I gotta say, I don't know how. It starts with a simple belief, but it goes way further than that.

But I know that God is way more than we can ever comprehend, at least while we're here on earth. His word says that He is 'the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them--the LORD, who remains faithful forever.'(Psalm 146:6) The last thing you wanna do is try to prove Him with scientific formulae.

Anyways, I just don't really know how to put all this together. But God is God. There are things we won't understand, there are things we don't see. But that doesn't mean they don't exist. That doesn't change the fact that God loves us and He is more real than anything can ever be. How do I know this? well, I guess that's faith.